Monday, August 8, 2011

Bootleg Martha Stewart Recipe

I am lazy and did not make a grocery list last night. While I was nannying, I flipped through an old Martha Stewart Living and discovered an easy recipe that had items I already had in my fridge and items I knew I could omit.

1 tablespoon olive oil

7 garlic cloves, thinly sliced

3 cups yellow and red cherry tomatoes, halved

Coarse salt and freshly ground pepper

2/3 cup chicken stock

8 lasagna noodles

2/3 cup small basil

1/2 cup reduced fat ricotta cheese

1 ounce pecorino romano cheese, shaved

1. Look in your pantry. In mine I had

  1. Four regular tomatoes
  2. tri-color rotini pasta
  3. 1/2 cup chicken stock
  4. enough garlic cloves
  5. olive oil
  6. a half of a bag of shredded Parmesan cheese

FUCK THAT INGREDIENT LIST OF MARTHA'S, USE MINE INSTEAD, WHATEVS. Besides, I am only posting the recipe list that pertains to what I made tonight anyway.

2. Slice the garlic cloves and realize you actually have two tomatoes because the other two are no good. Then realize you don't have enough rotini AND tomatoes. Drive yourself to the store and buy red cherry tomatoes and more rotini noodles and beer and nothing else from the list of ingredients you don't have, because you HATE ricotta cheese anyway. And you're cheap.


3. Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in a high sided skillet over medium heat. Cook garlic until pale golden, about 3 minutes.

4. Add 2 cups tomatoes and 1/2 teaspoon salt. Cook until soft, about seven minutes.

5. Add chicken broth. BUT WAIT.

Oh fuck, you only have 1/2 cup of chicken broth. Add water until its two thirds of a cup. NOW ADD IT. Simmer until saucelike, about 1 minute.

6. Meanwhile, bring a large pot of water to boil and add pasta. Cook until al dente, about seven minutes. Drain.

7. Toss pasta into skillet to sauce it up.

8. Add parmesan cheese (because I can't tell the difference between romano cheese) until it melts. Serve!

9. Eat your half before your boyfriend even sits down to eat his.

10. Go get more.